Zaanse Schans (bless you...)

Today, I am not going to complain about any Dutch habit, instead, I will tell you everything about this wonderful day we spent in Zaanse Schans (try to pronounce it if you are not Dutch, and try again, and again, just for the fun).

Last week, we had visitors, my girlfriend's brother and his girlfriend, when we have visitors from abroad, we tend to try to show them some typical places, Marken, Keukenhoff, Kindersdijk, Urk, and all those lovely places you can find in the Netherlands.

This time we decided to go to Zaandse Schans, close to Zaandam, it was a lovely day, we had never been there and it looked like a nice place. It is basically a kind of outdoor museum, with very typical houses, a cheese fabric, a wooden shoes fabric, a few wind mills, etc. Actually the perfect set for whoever wants to discover the Netherlands...

First surprise when we arrived, the entrance was free (which is damn rare here), but fortunately, the parking wasn't, 1 Euro for 30 minutes, 7 Euros above that... So we have visited a few of the fabrics, actually more like complete tourists shops, understand that both the cheese shop and the wooden shoes one sold about the same tourist crap gifts you normaly get in any tourist trap in Amsterdam, but ok, it is a touristic place (although it was pretty deserted on a friday), sot that's what you should expect. And whole in whole the places were pretty nice to visit (especially the klompen shop / musem).

Then after a while walking in the small (and pretty enjoyable I have to admit) village, we started to get hungry, and decided to try one of the few restaurants. And that's were the nightmare started... (You really thought I wouldn't have anything to complain about :D?).

We checked the map, and saw that there was a pannekoeken restaurant, and decided it would be a nice cheap and typical meal, so we headed up there, and found out that the pannekoeken restaurant was actually a kind of self service cafeteria which happened to cook pancakes. Call me cocky if you want, but for 8 Euros for a jam pannecake, I like it to be served at my table, not having to grab it myself, I am not fully found of the "pay and work" formula, so we decided the cafeteria was a no go...

Therefore we checked the cafe next to it, the waiter was well... waiting, in the door frame, looking outside, so I asked him if he was serving food, he told me that yes, he had tostis and other things of the sort, sounded great, therefore we sat at a table at the terrasse, and we waited, like for a menu, or for the guy to come and take our order. And so we waited, during this time, the waiter came back in the door frame, looked around, went back inside... And we waited... until after what I consider a consequent amount of time (like between 5 and 10 minutes, which is half acceptable in a crowdy place, but is a lot when you are about the only persons the waiter has to care about). So we decided to move on and head to the last restaurant...

Before I go on, I should probably apologies to the waiter, because once we were gone, it seemed to me I saw him with a tray at the terrasse, I couldn't say if he really was coming for us, but if you were, sorry dude, I have to admit I don't have much patience... Anyway, as a pure Dutch, he probably doesn't give a damn anyway. That's the good thing with Dutch people, you won't hurt them, because they just don't care...

So we arrived at the last restaurant, "De Hoop op d’Swarte Walvis" which is supposedly a nice place (from what we had read before we went). It was about 14:40, and indeed, we should have paid more attention, the menu sign was indicating that they were serving lunch until 14:30... But hell, if we can't eat, maybe we can at least have a coffee, that's at least what we thought.

So we sat in the sun and waited, waitresses were busy inside setting up tables (probably for the diner), they saw us at a table on the terrasse, went on... One of them eventualy came out, looked at us, didn't say a word and went back in. (I have to confess that at that point I still had hope she might just have been back inside to get her order paperblock, how candide I am...). Of course she didn't came back, well not immediately, but a few more minutes later, came back with her colleague, who asked her (in Dutch obviously):
- in a half wispering, half giggling like a turkey tone "Did you tell them?"
- No they stupid tourist, they will find out...

The second part I just made up cause it was covered by the giggling, so they took off the sign and went back inside... Not a word to us, hideous creatures that we were...
Then came the chef / boss / whoever he was, he smoked his cigarette trying to undertand what we were saying thanks to his "camping french" (Ardeches, frites, boules de petanques) and went back inside, we were completely transparent during all this time...

So here a quick word for you people of the Hoop op d’Swarte Walvis: please, get another job, in a poultry slaughtery, a mud field, a water plant, but don't even try to be in contact with actual people, this behaviour you had is rude, infantile, highly unpolite and stupid. And I hope you girls like this job you are not even doing half well, because with such behaviours, it is probably as high as you can get. Of course, we understood it was too late, but what was the cost for you to be civilised and come gently tell us that service was over? Are you so cheap that even a few words are too expensive for you?

Anyway, we ended up at the local Burger King (it is along the road, just before Zaandse Schans, for those of you who might get hungry while visiting the place), and we have been served by Marvin, who to be very honest wasn't the fastest fast food guy I had ever seen, and I would certainly have mistakely shot him had I been in a zombie movie. But at least Marvin was a nice guy and served us in a polite way, well, HE did the job he was paid for. No more, no less.

To conclude, if ever you want to go to Zaandse Schans, don't. It is not really worth it, too much of a tourist place and you are treated like yesterday's jam even when the place is empty.
I can't recommand the Hoop op d’Swarte Walvis either, but if the food is as good as the service, I am happy we didn't eat anything, we would probably have been sick for a few days...